I've been in therapy for over three years; c-PTSD, childhood trauma, blah blah blah. Things just seem to get worse and worse as I go through all this. Transference, flashbacks, my relationship with my T has become unpredictable.
I don't see how my T is supposed to help me anymore, but there's no way I'd start this whole process over again. So I'm stuck spiraling downward. I feel hopeless and meaningless. I feel like a therapeutic failure. Everything we talk about, I feel, or she says turns into something bad. I am completely emotionally and mentally unbalanced, where before therapy, I was a functioning member of the high tech world.
My T repeats the mantra from Psych 101 - talk about it. talk about it. talk about it....I know not all therapeutic courses of treatment have positive outcomes, but I'm starting to feel like mine is having a decidedly bad result. But at the same time, the thought of leaving my T leaves me in even worse shape.
There is a part of me that's angry over this - like I got worse, so now I'm stuck because I would literally die if I stopped. If I knew back then what I know now, I think I would have just kept ignoring the pain and soldiered on.
I guess I don't really have a question in all this. I'm just hoping someone can say with honesty that it will be ok.
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