I have an enormous amount of shame/grief about a sexual fantasy. I believe it to be a major player in my self-hatred and depression. In very general terms, I have discussed this with T of two years and told her that I fear she will terminate our relationship if I tell her. I have not been comforted by her vague reassurances (I had expected something along the lines "You'd be surprised by what I (T) hear"; what I got was that she would not judge me. How can a normal person not judge me?

Fearfully,

Lazarus