Allenton, welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you and your wife are not seeing eye to eye and may be moving in different directions.
You really sound like a sensitive person. Her rejection of your lovemaking style seems like a rejection of intimacy for some other dream she is after like idealized sex perhaps. Where is the closeness or intimacy in that? I just don't see that.
You sound like you have a big investment in this relationship and it may be needed to have a therapist or support group for an extended period of time to cope with this relationship. It sounds like she has reached her limit and insists on her way as the way she wants to relate. If there is any hope of staying together a couple counselor could help if BOTH people are willing to change. Love and reconciliation can not be a one sided process. Both must participate and change old thinking and habits.
Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Wednesday at 8PM.
You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts
http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.
Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.
For me lifestyle changes fit big in my recovery hopes..
I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.
Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.