Isn't everybody only in something for themselves? When you befriend somebody, don't you have to like them? Why would anybody help somebody if it doesn't benefit them? I don't see nor do I understand any other way to be.

For most of my life, I've seen friendships and relationships as a mutually beneficial interpersonal exchange comprised by like-minded individuals. I'm not surprised one bit by my friend's neglect; I''m more agitated than anything. I'm in one of the lowest points in my life that I've been in in awhile. I'm having issues financially that likely won't let up until Nov/Dec. Until I get my finances stable, get another vehicle, and finally move out of state and get the fresh start on my life that I want, I'm not going to be happy and I'm, therefore, not going to be useful to anybody. If I can't solve my own problems, I'm weak and therefore, undeserving of people's time and compassion.

The only exceptions to this are two of my male friends who haven't been talkative for their own reasons. One is introverted and is trying to work 2 jobs while getting away from abusive relatives and the other has severe ADHD which makes it hard for him to focus on anything including reading his texts or being available to hang out.

Still though, having somebody to talk to that won't judge or criticize me would be most welcomed at this low point in my life. I wish things didn't have to be the way they are with me.