Hi sw. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are feeling difficulty with relationships. Often we are told conflicting things like being a good sex partner, or being intimate before having sex or just don't have sex. No wonder we are confused. Therapists can help us go beyond the conditioning we are brought up with and help us come out of our shells.

Here is an article on 5 steps of intimacy that helps give an idea what stage you are on.
The 5 Intimacy Stages Of A Relationship | World of Psychology

there are other articles search at Psych Central - Trusted mental health, depression, bipolar, ADHD & psychology information.