Thank you for responding. On some level I have been rebellious, although I didn't know what I was fighting against (myself?)...some hidden internal force compelling me to do things against free will.

Unfortunately, for every action, there is an equal opposite action....I become the biggest B anyone knows There seems to be hardly any middle ground.

Most of the others have no clue on how to be cool- just mindless drones. Some of us are here to be centered, but a lot of irrationality still plagues our system....but we have come along way on our own....we have learned and adapted, but making friends and being a people person is so like not possible right now, or gets tiredsome to say the least and confusing....will it ever?

There's some hope here, not a lot...but enough.