Well first of all I don't feel comfortable talking about romance, sex or anything that two adults might engage in as a couple. Also, I've never felt normal and almost a different species altogether. I've been in love several times but I don't think I've ever actually been loved. I cry a lot sometimes and believe that this will take years off my life. I probably appreciate more when somebody actually listens. I give flowers to acquaintances because I'm probably a romantic but never really was close enough to someone to know. I used to write very dark poetry - I stopped because it got redundant and most people thought it was negative. I think a lot about what could have been. My memories are all of me alone. When I dream there is sometimes people there - I want to stay even if it's very weird. When I watch TV shows of outcast loners I think I'm looking at a reflection. I have a very thick mask and I fool a lot of people. I no longer know why I stay here - I don't think I ever did. I feel when people look at me they know how desperate I must be. I'm afraid to touch anyone. God I hate beauty.