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I am in no way trying to minimize your hurt over friends not responding to you, but I would like to give a different perspective.
I have a friend who will call and leave me a voicemail with a message like "Tried to reach you. Will try again." I am supposed to read her mind and know that she's hurting and needs to talk. I'm not psychic. I can't know she is struggling unless she gives me some indication. I might not return the call immediately depending on what's going on in my life.
Then there are the times that I'm struggling to deal with my own stuff and I just don't have anything to give someone else. I have a tendency to pull into my shell when I'm really stressed. It takes too much energy to interact with other people. I may not have it in me to help someone else at those times.
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