I'm such a mess. I've not enjoyed my hobbies in forever, I'm looseing everyone I love it seems, my old therapist hasn't e-mailed me back in over a week...just the 2nd time I've e-mailed him, I'm worried....god................

I don't enjoy anything anymore!!!!!
I'm in gaming, online gaming to be exact, but feel its a struggle to play, always stressed and get frustrated easy and cry. I used to play drums, now I just...don't have the energy, the will...its so stressful so I don't do it.

I've fallen in love with someone miles away..I'm fake to myself., because I know its impossible.

I wonder why people divorce, and remarry..there is only 1 true love right? I dunno, what if a spouse died...why find another to please your own lust...these are questions that I dont yet know......I'm so scared....

I've been very down lately even to the point, I want to call a hotline....

I've not seen my therapist in 2-3 weeks and don't under next week.....the couple times Ihave I feel so intimidated I can't make progress.......

I NEED SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND IS ALL...........I'm so broken..I'm out of batteries..and im sinking.............almost drowning in my own tears.

I cry out of knowwhere for no reason...my meds don't help, I sometimes want to OD on them...just to leave....I know its wrong so I don't....what makes it wrong...? I don't feel anything except tears..of sadness.no anger...just so stress

My body aches..and i'm too young for it..I sleep to cure the pain and suffer when I awake its not real............

I'm falling..

Dustin