My son always had difficulty sleeping, but from a young age (age 10), I responded to his insomnia, bad dreams, restlessness, illness the same way. If he came into my room complaining about any of the above, I'd get up and go back to his room with him, tuck him in (not much tucking needed when he was in his teens ) and then sit with him. Sometimes I'd lie down on his bed and we'd read together or just talk. Some of our best conversations were in the car or with me sitting on the side of his bed. If we wanted to watch a movie, lying down, we'd stretch out on the big couch with blankets and a bowl of popcorn. When he got older (in his late teens and early twenties), once in a while, he'd get home late at night and I'd be asleep but he'd be worried or upset about something--usually something having to with a girl . He'd come into my room and sit on the side of my bed and we'd talk it through. He never slept in my bed after the age of about nine. I made a conscious decision to do this because my son had a lot of difficulty with personal space and neediness. He was adopted by me when he was seven and had many many disruptions/traumas in his early life. We worked really hard on issues related to trust, limit setting and self-confidence/self-reliance. I wanted him to be able to approach me with anything, but I wanted him to come to view me as a guide or supporter who was there to help him find the right way to handle tough issues.

I really think a parent's decision in this area is a very individual thing. I have friends whose kids sleep with them all the time, and I have friends whose kids have NEVER been in their bed and they state openly that it is not something they'd ever consider. I kind of think its what your therapist said--your level of comfort and how you feel about it.