Wow. You're being very hard on yourself. Can you not imagine someone liking or loving you just for who you are, rich or poor, sad or happy? I really feel your pain in some of your posts. Some incredibly bad things must have happened to you to make you feel like that. I am so sorry. I realise that's probably a meaningless thing to say. I genuinely hope that you can find some peace and healing, as well as make a success of your business and move to another state. I'm interested in what happens to you and I hope it goes well. PM me anytime.
FWIW, I think I'm about twice your age. My mother was admitted to hospital last week and has come home. I had 2-3 close friends regularly contact me to offer help and support. There were 2-3 who I thought cared about me, who didn't respond. I think this is just how people are. Sometimes selfish, or sick/ sad themselves, or busy, or forget stuff..... Don't take it too personally. Focus on getting yourself in the right place and the rest will come.
And BTW if a guy loved me, he'd show it by how he treats me, not by what he buys me. There was an old lady opposite my mother and her husband came in every day and brushed her hair while she slept. He couldn't afford flowers or cards but you could see how much he loved her. Love and friendship cost nothing but are priceless. Hugs to you DIMF.
|