That's the weird thing though, I am a risk taker in all aspects of my life except my interpersonal relationships. I've learned most of what I know the hard way. I've gotten in debt and messed myself up financially off trial and error and it took me several thousand dollars in mistakes to learn what I know because I've never had anybody show me proper money management. I've done high risk activities that could be a threat to my physical well-being if I mess up if the reward is worth it to me.

Why must my interpersonal life be so different? Maybe because I was forced to be independent for much of my life. I was taught at a young age to not rely on love but myself and only myself. I was forced into survival mode and I had only myself to rely on.

Not to mention abandonment hurts me far more than losing some money on a failed investment or business venture or breaking some bones and ending up in the hospital. In fact, I would rather suffer non-lethal torture for 1-2 days straight than be abandoned by somebody that I care about ever again.

Maybe I'll change one day who knows. As it stands though, money, new gadgets, video games, and books bring me more pleasure than people.