Thanks, Iīm a bit touched by what you write and I can relate to much of what you describe. Did you experience something similar or are you perhaps working within therapy or psychology? You donīt have to answer if you donīt want to of course.
Yes, what I remember my mother spoke solely about my father, not about men in general like "men just want sex" or anything like that.
I havenīt thought about it so explicitly, the difference in thinking or seeing myself as a body, even if subconcious, and seeing myself as a person, who gets love be being just that person. Iīve never experienced love and I donīt really know how to feel it either.
It has to do with self-esteem as you say and I think quite a large part of my childhood has contributed to that. Now it feels like a very steep hill to get over and it also feels like missing out on things like dating when I was a teen and such.
Iīm scared that I wonīt get a T whoīs willing to work around this as I canīt pay for therapy myself and in where I live therapy through the public health care doesnīt deal with issues around sexuality.
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Originally Posted by Bill3
Thank you very much for your kind words. I agree with QuirkyGirl99 that your perspective could well come from the past, particularly your family of origin. It seems that your mother expressed an attitude similar to what you are saying. She could have been speaking specifically about your father, but childredn don't make fine distinctions and a girl could internalize and generalize what her mother said, and conclude subconsciously that sex is always about making oneself available for use by a man. Also, I believe that low self-esteem, which I expect would also derive in large part from what happened as a child, can foster a belief that a man could not find you worthy and valuable as you, as SarahSweden, but only as a female body.
I do think that it would be valuable to discuss the situation with a T. But I don't think I would frame it as a purely sexual issue. I think the basic issues are self-esteem and your manner of attachment or non-attachment with others, and I expect these issues express themselves in many parts of your life, not just in sex. Perhaps that perspective would make it easier to obtain therapy.
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