I "borrowed" a set of scales from my mum about 2 years ago while I was in treatment because although I was using the treatment and I felt it was helping, it was tied to my weight; if I didn't gain weight I lost the treatment. So I kept tabs on my weight.

After leaving the treatment...you guessed it, I decided I needed/wanted to get rid of the weight. It wasn't a shock-about-turn, I just wanted the treatment very badly for my head, but wasn't ready to gain weight- at least not that amount in such a short space of time...so I proceeded to weigh myself daily and that would fuel how I ate and what I ate that day.

I've reeled myself back in again after my initial panic though will say it wasn't such a mature change around; I just lost enough of the weight that it was tolerable to stop trying so hard to lose any. I had to make a practical and thought out decision rather than it being an emotional one. If I let my heart rule my head I'd never stop tying to lose weight...

I can't say I have the answers, but I do have a suggestion which worked for me. It's not easy cutting back on trying to lose weight or holding out for your weight or any other body stats to change, but if you can take the part of your head that realises rationally that this is not a good idea and decide between that part of you and the emotional ruled part that wants to keep moving in a direction and come to a compromise, the next job is upholding it and sticking to it. It might not be about recovery or about losing weight/etc but somewhere inbetween. It can be hard to stick to but that's your job to work on. 100% recovery may happen another day but for now it's about doing what you can to stay within the compromise you've decided on.

I hope you do get to work something out because the scales thing is really difficult to live around- fluid fluctuations happen a lot more when you are stressed, when you are losing weight and that's without even looking at things which affect everyone else such as hormonal changes, your body deciding to take on more salt, be constipated or even get "normal people" sick...it's a nightmare to get your head around if you're head is constantly looking for a bone to pick with your body...

Can you maybe work on ways to limit things? Cut back in any way? Maybe only taking stats once a day or only in the morning or only taking certain stats (if you can limit what you see). I get that it's difficult but you are far from alone and cutting back can be done, just in small steps.