Thanks everything is just so dark inside - I've been alone since day one. After all these years I still don't know how to connect - to get close to anyone terrifies me. And yes I've done therapy and medication. I've never really openly shared, except with a therapist, how distant and abnormal I feel. Like I said the thought of having a relationship and having someone in my personal space doesn't seem feasible. I feel like a three year old and I'm waaaaaaayyyyyy past that. I always felt like everyone else has had somebody in their lives and it sucks. I don't believe in a deity so WOW. I just feel like if I told anyone about my social history they'd run so fast I'd just feel their wind.

Pass the mashed potatoes please.