<font color="#000088">The urges are getting really strong again. I'm trying to fight them the best I can. But I've been fighting them for so long, I'm just so sick of fighting this. I just feel like giving up on fighting it, and just do it already, so the urges won't be so strong anymore. I've been holding in these urges for 7 years,and they have just been gaining strength the whole time. I think if I just give in to them then they won't be so strong anymore. It'll be like popping a zit that has been getting bigger over 7 years. Once it's popped, it won't be so big anymore,and bother me so much. I could be getting those 7 years of urges out,so they'll stop getting even stronger. Even just once. But I know better, I wouldn't be able to stop at just one time, it would turn back to the way it was before. A vicious cycle. But I can't help the way I'm feeling. I also feel like there's not too many people that could care less either! </font>