Grace,
I am so glad that you did have this visit from your friend. Reading your letter was inspirational. Half way through you wonder if she had changed or you had changed. As I continued reading, your words just about shouted out how much you have changed for the good of your self in the years since you were close to this friend. I know that what you are going through is difficult, it is never easy to tell someone one you are not interested in maintaining a relationship. I would suggest that if you do write another letter just focus on how you have changed and how you don't fit in her life anymore. That makes it all your fault in a way and make it easier for her not to feel like she has to fix anything. Does that make sense? I read it in a book somewhere.
Carrie
...or maybe it was Dear Abby

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson