I agree about counselling, again both parties must be willing.

Maybe I missed it but what is her plan of action? Is it to remain the status quo? You seem more afraid of living with this than the alternative.

I think when such a thing happens during what has become a lengthy relationship we are more afraid of the change in our routine and the unknown to follow. Have you considered what such a change might offer you?

This is never easy. All the harder when you never see it coming. However, I don't believe this is the case. You have pointed out you have had similar conversations previously. I realise you love her implicitly, but I think you need to consider yourself and think of your own plans.

Good luck!