I know the feeling when you need something so much but can't get it. But one thing that i learned through time is that... "**** happens", but we shouldn't get hold onto that so much that we couldn't see our path of life which we're treading on. I know it's so damn hard, but believing in yourself, finding the right passion for you helps. This world is full of great people that i want to meet, great adventures that i wanna go on. Also a big hug helps everytime.....