Everyone who has replied:
Thanks! I appreciate the effort but it is in no way helping me.Going to a therapist in my place and admitting these things is either a ticket to jail and/or social suicide
Everyone here is a ******* prude,they refuse to acknowledge that sex exists and even the mention of it is thought of as crass and indecent
So I see absolutely no way to help myself. Its like a road to nowhere and my habits make me feel so *******ed guilty but I have no place to vent but here