i have not felt actual anger much in my lifetime, frustration to a degree, but not actual anger for good reason.

to me, anger is scary, a feeling i haven't figured out how to feel without accompanying rage to a degree. in the past, when it was felt, it automatically would cause me to dissociate and act out rather than in. i have always been the type to hurt myself, no one/nothing else. and with this type of anger/rage, it absolutely terrifies me because it causes my head to feel dizzy, spin, and just feel scared at not knowing how to effectively handle it.

it sometimes doesn't take much (the rare times it does come up)...like being a perfectionist and something not working out that is really not even a big deal can trigger it (like recent days).

i don't know how much of it is a dissociative reaction or what else it 'could' be....but it is such a scary feeling for me. how do you deal with anger? is there any way to make things calm down faster and regain control?