Hi, I've been married to a narcissist for about 7 and a half years. It's been a very bumpy ride. Sometime's I start to think that he is actually being a caring person and then his motive comes to light. He is the most selfish person that I have ever met. One of the qualities that attracted me to him at the beginning was that I was under the impression that he was this amazing, caring man with a huge heart. Since then I've learned that he doesn't do anything kind for anyone unless he is getting something in return. He constantly puts me down and makes me feel completely worthless. When he has me where he wants me mentally and emotionally then he will begin to build me back up some only to turn around and completely knock me down and then actually laughs in my face about it. He gets satisfaction from having that control over me. Everytime that I have ever tried to leave him, he plays the sympathy card, the "poor, pity me, you've done me so wrong by leaving" card. Puts a major guilt trip on me for leaving. and the couple of times that I had myself in the right mindset to not fall for that, he would change his tactics to threatening me with the safety of myself and my family, thus pulling me back in because I don't want my family involved in anything. He has hurt in every way possible and gets satisfaction from it. Tells me that it's his job to make sure that I know my place in the world which is beneath him. When the abuse gets physical, there will be times that i'm laying on the floor and he will stand above me looking down and laugh at me while saying that all peasants are supposed to bow their kings. In his eyes, he never does anything wrong. He blames me for absolutely everything wrong in his life and discredits everything that I have done in attempt to improve his life. For example, he has a child that he is supposed to pay child support on, for 2-3 years I made the monthly payments for him because he couldn't keep a job. Due to changes in life, I could no longer afford to pay his support and told him that he needed to get a job. Bills were piling up and the kids needed new clothes etc... So child support went unpaid and now his license are suspended and he has a court date that he may go to jail during for failure to pay child support, He blames me for it. Said that I screwed up his life and that if he goes to jail then he never wants to see me or the kids again because it's my fault. The logical side of me knows that it was his responsibility years before we ever met and that i am not responsible for that. The emotional side of me is kicking myself in the rear for not continuing to pay it for him. He cheats on me all the time and blames me for it also. Says that when i'm at work his sexual needs are not being attended to by me so someone has to do it. Ahhhh there is just sooooo much that I don't have time to write at the moment. I guess I'm more or less trying to see if there is anyone on here that can relate to me at all