Good morning ^^

I'll try to get through a few days without Concerta. I haven't eaten much in 4 days and didn't notice. Now I'm skinny everyone says again because it's constant ups and downs with my sleeping. I was hypomanic now I hate everything I want to go back I hate this. I knew that I would abuse it eventually because of the crash I get from just two in the morning and I need one in the afternoon as well to stop that. It's not a big deal. "But it's still a stimulant". Uhhh it's an ADHD approved stimulant that they give to children as young as 6 years old. I can take over 600mg and be chill. I have completely unknown brain chemistry because people can't even take 150mg.

People need to be open minded. My inpatient psychiatrist was the best and did his job extremely well and they worked as a team giving me 90mg a day but I chose Vyvanse and my current psychiatrist says it's like crack cocaine which is good because I don't have the Adderall euphoria gene that apparently increases the chance of developing schizophrenia, ADHD and bipolar.

Now I have to prove everything. So much research on the things this shouldn't happen right now. What the hell...

I really want to take as prescribed but at the moment I'm completely numb. No more buzz. Can't even drink. No more cigarettes but why omg like I better not get ah you know what.. Maybe I'll give it back to my mom. I guess I'm not able to use it properly but then I would buy more coke.

No one understands my opinions and the truth because it's ridiculous. I'm about to just abandon the Concerta until I'm out of this state from experience..

I was annoyed because caffeine gives me no focus.

I have different brain chemistry but they won't listen and thinks that one extra will make me psychotic. Aaahhhh

Now I'm off to school and I'm late.. Like usual when sick but I'm not just anhedonic induced from taking too much and the damn English course from being hospitalized I feel like it's all my fault but I know it's not don't worry.

Meh... IR has kicked in. I feel fine now within a few minutes.

Mostly I do this to focus in the evening.

They are in power so I'll just drift through life once again

I don't like to communicate anymore like my dad. He came to visit though! But atm I need to focus ok bye

Bbl

I have been symptomatic since that feeling of content died.

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