Last Wednesday my ex-husband had our dog put down. I wasn't given the chance to see her before she died. Just got a phone call to say she was gone. I am a bit upset with my ex because we had a plan for him to call me if she went down hill (she was old) and he didn't call me when she was clearly unwell. This has brought up hurts from my previous marriage (we spit 3 years ago) and many bad memories of that time. When I found out I was hypomanic and didn't really register it for a few days. Now my mood is very flat, even dark but also normal grieving. I am also becoming much more irritable and my mind races but I cannot concentrate to use my mind for university. I also feel extreme panic and have been abusing substances. Kind of tanking really.