Thank you all

Another thing is that I'm really not sure how to grieve! My friends tried to cheer me up whenever I was sad, which felt like they weren't respecting my grief but instead wanted to shove it under a rug.. I've let go of these people little by little, but it seems there's no one left now! So I'm thinking, maybe I am doing it wrong.. Maybe we're supposed to just try and be happy despite our grief..

Thank you for your insight, silent_runner! I feel I've never known/had my own path in life as I don't know who I truly am. I feel I developed a 'false self' as a child to survive the environment I was brought up in, losing myself in the process.. And the only way I could get myself 'back' would be if someone were to see me as I am, not how they want me to be. You know, when I'm sad or whatever, someone would see that and not try to get me to be anything else. But again, maybe it doesn't work like that at all..

This is a mindset I think I need to start adopting!