Quote:
Originally Posted by rr13
For those following my situation, my parents brought my brother home this weekend. He had been in the hospital 3 times since July, is in very bad health and was homeless. So now he's living with my parents until they can get him qualified for social security and can find someplace for him to live where he can be cared for. This is causing me a lot of stress. I hoped to never have to see my brother again, but now I'll have to see him every Sunday. All the attention will now be on him and my parents will ignore me even more than before. I'm feeling very angry since I need help from my parents, but I'll never get it.
Since I can't change the fact that I have to see my parents every week due to my financial situation, my therapist suggested I forgive them and my brother. I don't know if I can do that though. How do you forgive people when the situation that's making you angry and resentful is being thrown in your face all the time?
|
Without knowing what your situation/relationship is like with your parents in general, I say this: Your parents are in a "precarious" position here. Apparently your brother is, let's say, much worse off than you are and so their attention needs to be more focused on him. It is very difficult for a parent to have to choose between children. And, if their resources are limited, the fact is they can only do so much.
It may help you to simply put yourself in their shoes . . . if you had two children who needed a lot of help/attention and one was a little more worse off, how would you handle that? In addition, there is no handbook for parents and dealing with their children. They just have to do the best they can.
Now, I would also like to say, that unless your brother has done something to you specifically that causes you to be in a position of needing to find forgiveness, then this is just about acceptance, not forgiveness. In other words, if he hasn't hurt you directly in some way and it's just about the fact that he's causing everyone so much pain, you need to accept the fact that he is a broken man. He's not doing anything intentionally, he's just a lost soul.
Sometimes a person simply needs to accept what's been put on their plates and then do whatever is necessary for themselves.