Hi Danaliz--

Sorry you have been having an especially rough time lately. I definitely understand the constant suicidal thoughts, and also the urge to hide them from people for fear of them freaking out (like your doc did).

From my understanding, it really is not all that unusual to be on more than one antidepressant at once. I have been on more than one many times. The only thing to be careful about is to not be on two at once that are very similar (i.e. that work on the same receptor), as this can cause issues. For example, you wouldn't want to be on simultaneous full doses of Prozac and Paxil, as they both work exclusively on serotonin.

One possibility to consider is something to augment the antidepressant, such as Abilify or Latuda. These are both technically antipsychotics, but are often used in smaller doses to give the antidepressant a "boost," so to speak. Your doctor should be familiar with these drugs and hopefully will not be upset if you suggest the possibility (hell, the TV ads even say, "ask your doctor about...")

I think jo_thorne had some great advice about how to approach the subject with your doctor. Unfortunately some doctors are very sensitive about being told by the patient what they want and need to be managed delicately. If this "management" becomes too difficult, however, I would move on and see if you can find someone else.

Good luck and please let us know how things go!