The reason I say my parents are selfish is because the only reason they kept giving my brother money for years and bailing him out every time he got into trouble since he was 16, was to keep it a secret from their friends and family. My entire life I've been told to lie to my friends and grandparents if my brother was in jail or in trouble. My parents never wanted anyone to know because they were afraid of what people would say about them. He was living in Atlanta for the past 6 years after a huge fiasco that my parents had to bail him out of, but they lied to their friends saying he moved for a job. For 6 years they've been lying to their friends to make it seem like they have the perfect family. My parents are all about appearance. Even my therapist has said they basically helped him all his life to keep the secret so no one would find out. So they help out when it benefits them, but they don't help just to help someone else.

They haven't helped me that much. In fact, many times they told me they couldn't help me because they had to pay his rent. So I was left on my own. I know I'm an adult, but I have chronic health issues that prevent me from getting a second job. So I'm doing the best I can. I don't belong to a church. I have the basics, I just need more money to pay off my credit card debts I've run up over the last 7 years paying doctors out of pocket when my crappy insurance didn't cover it.

Well, my feeling is, if my parents don't help me so I can get back on my feet, there's no way I 'll be able to help them. All this stress is making my health worse. If my health keeps going downhill like it is, I won't be in any physical or mental shape to help them when the time comes.

I haven't ever actually sat down and talked with my parents because they've never been responsive any time I've wanted to talk about anything serious. My parents love living in denial of how things really are. As soon as you start talking about something that's not positive, they shut down. I always joke that seeing them is like being in the movie Pleasantville. All conversation has to be pleasant and about nothing important. The only time it's about something serious is it's their problem they need to vent about. I'm sorry, but what parent keeps giving their child money knowing that child is using it to buy drugs? My brother has lied to them his entire life, stolen from them and caused them nothing but pain, but they kept helping him. They told me they would rather pay his rent in Atlanta to keep him away from them. They never wanted him to move back here. They never wanted to see him again. None of us did. Even in his state that he's in, he still tells lies and refuses to take care of himself. He has HIV and refuses to take the meds. I don't believe in helping anyone who won't help themselves. Again, my parents only did to keep the secret.

I go over there every Sunday to do laundry and to stay on their good side so they will still help me when they can. My parents don't help out of the goodness of their heart. There are strings attached. If I go against them or piss them off, they'll stop helping me.