Thanks for asking and for the idea for the kitties. I'm about the same and hanging on tightly to the edge. My therapist is being understanding about my need to talk to my pdoc rather than have a hospital one decide the course of treatment so unless I become dangerous I should be able to stay home until Monday. And it's only 5 more days...Not fun and I feel horrible but in a way this is a good thing; I'm too depressed to be suicidal and that keeps me home.

I used to be able to leave the cats with food but now feeding is complex and they both need someone to check in daily because they both have some big health problems (renal failure in one, pancreatitis in the other). Plus I may be gone for nearly a week before my mom is home.

It may be that my pdoc will want to try something else at home first. I sent an email just telling her I didn't need to hear back after a request last week because I really need to talk to her in person about what comes next, that I am interested in whether ECT is an option and if it isn't that I have a number of questions before doing anything else. So I may go and she'll have something to try at home that doesn't bother me. I just feel very wary of meds right now. I feel like we've kept trying this for months and my brain chemistry has been through so much with a net effect of nothing except that I'm probably worse than I was when this went from bothersome to bad 7 months ago. But I'm also not in the best place to make decisions so my thoughts can easily be changed when I see her.

I guess I'll know next week.