Well i am going to try accountability. I had a thought this morning that my apartment looks like no one cares about me. Cuz no one comes to visit, so no one sees the mess. But thats not exactly true. I know people care. I just wont let them in. So in t today, i told him i wanted him to hold me accountable for whatever i said i was going to do today. It doesnt even have to be the thing - its just that he will ask me. He said, "and you will be okay with that." I was like, i dont know how i will feel, but i guess we will see. I came home feeling hot dizzy and tired so i am lying down and not swimming yet, but i guess we'll see!