This sounds like a big enabling situation as you have described it. Your brother is the so called, " identified patient" in the family and the world appears to revolve around him. There's lots of literature on this very topic as well as support groups in most towns/cities. Please do what you can to find a healthy, compassionate support system, which, unfortunately, may be outside of your immediate family. I have a hunch that despite your parents' efforts at keeping your brother's issues a secret over the years, that at least a few of your relatives either know or have suspicions that your parents are covering for him. I hope you can find some support and possibly help, you sound like you deserve it after living with this for most of your life. Please keep us posted.