I probably should wait for the OP to answer this, but since I've had the same experience, I want to point out that she didn't say that she was suicidal. She said that she was having constant thoughts of suicide.

I personally spent years thinking of suicide every day or almost every day but had no plans to do anything about it. It can become sort of an obsessive thought pattern.

In a strange way, it can be anxiety-relieving in the sense that worrying about thinking about suicide so much can distract you from whatever else you were worrying about. (If that sounds convoluted, it is, a bit.)