Mac, there is no need to go from zero to 100 immediately. There is no need to go immediately from a conversation to best friends. I think you are putting some undo pressure upon yourself. Concentrate first on making aquaintances first. Just have those casual conversations and get yourself in the company of others. The rest will eventually follow.

I am surmising privacy is really important to you, so entertaining is out of the question. Would you feel comfortable in someone else's home? This actually used to be of great relief to me.

It is great to hear you have treated yourself to experiences - especially travel. The thought occured to me that you might be a great catch at an 'armchair travel' group. Just a thought.