My stress vent today is how the people who work at the pharmacy I go to are idiots and I called in two refills (one refill left on each one!), and was told I have no refills and they need to get my doctor's authorization. Okay. Then about two hours later I get a call from my pdoc's nurse, who tells me she's calling about the propronalol refill the pharmacy called and said I wanted.

I called in to get refills on my trazodone and stupid hydroxyzine (which doesn't ****ing work, I haven't been taking it the last couple of weeks because it's a JOKE, and I was just getting a refill because my seasonal allergies have been bothering me, and that's the only thing it helps with).

Anyway, so I talk to this nurse, who asks if I want to be put on the propranolol, and I say sure, because HYDROXY-JOKE isn't working. And then I actually tell her about how horrible my anxiety has been lately, I have the cloud of dread, I'm convinced that everyone hates me, I've started having trouble sleeping because when I go to bed and lay down all I can hear is my heart beating and pounding in my chest (whereas before I was sleeping a lot), etc., and I say maybe we should try something else as well for my anxiety...

Yeah. That didn't work. She just upped my trazodone dose and put me on propranolol.

I AM SICK OF DOCTOR'S NOT TAKING MY ****ING ANXIETY SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!! That alone has ruined my ****ing life! It ****s with your self-esteem, your self confidence, etc. It can destroy your life. I'd rather be paranoid and delusional than feel the way I feel right now.

(Whew. Okay. I feel better now. )