i know exactly how you feel... i have been seeing my T for three years now, but for the first two years i lost count of the number of sessions we would sit in pretty much complete silence...

like you i had thoughts and feelings racing through my mind but just found it impossible to talk... and often thought should i just stop, as it didnt feel like we were getting anywhere...

but i am so SO glad i didnt... i know its so hard to hold on when you feel like this, but i hope that you will find a way through... like others have suggested i found it very helpful to write down how i was feeling, it took several attempts before i was able to read it to T... but when I did, it was fantastic...

sometimes it takes a long time to develop a strong feeling of trust and safety with a T... but when you can bring yourself to open up, just a little... you will be so glad you did...

i hope things get better for you... best wishes Nikki x