I was terminated nearly one year ago and I was terminated against my will. I´ve gone through heavy grief and I still grieve and find myself crying intensely sometimes but more rarely than just after the termination.

Even if I then felt my T did wrong and couldn´t handle the situation very well, I back then felt she should have been more understanding about why I acted as I did, I now still have warm feelings for her. I don´t know if they classifies as erotic transference but I can feel like "a warm feeling in my chest" when thinking about her and I realise I still idolize her a bit.

I really liked her and I felt she opened up things I didn´t think of before. My thoughts of her are so intense sometimes even as much time has passed and I know it´s transference.

The hard thing is that my former T was the one terminating, she suddenly said she wasn´t the right T for me and she recommended me another kind of therapy. That´s why, even if I thought about it, I don´t want to contact her again and I therefore need another T to take me through those intense feelings for my former T.

Is that at all possible? How would that be done if possible?

Has anyone else experienced this?