I have to disagree with the above post. Not all self aware Ns will have a good chance of changing. I believe that seeing some here may give hope in thinking so but don't get "your" hope up. I did read the post that got moved in regards to your 7.5 year marriage. Speaking for myself my wife has always challenged me, and with her strong self this has made me a better person for her. Seems that your husband had you in a place that I myself could of never spent that much time with. Not trying to speak down but for me it would of been way to boring. With the writings you marked he had you in a place that's good for "him".
The other part is "change". We cannot change who we are so the right wording would be "modify".
My recommendation would be for you to hope he goes to jail so that you have a decent amount of time to clear out. Seems that you have let him get so down on you, do horrible things and cheat that he will not be able to stop. I could be wrong but seems that the damage is already done.
We're one of your parents or care givers on the same spectrum as he?