I guess the part of "expecting" the help comes from not understanding how they can help my brother, knowing they're being lied to and knowing the money they give him is going towards drugs, instead of helping their other child who has chronic health issues and has gone deeply into debt because of those issues and who can't get a part time job. What parent would blow off a sick child to help an addict who doesn't even want to help himself? They're pretty much saying to me, we know you're sick and struggling, but we don't care.

The online therapist is helping some, but she's being too pushy right now. She thinks I need to forgive my brother and both my parents. She gave me an assignment a few weeks ago, but I've been busy and also not ready to do it yet, so now she's upset with me, saying she thinks I'd rather stay angry. That's not true at all, but emotions aren't light switches. You can't just expect someone to turn themselves around and forgive someone when you want them to. People have to heal in their own time. I think because she works on a military base, she's a lot less sensitive.

If it weren't for my health issues and all the money it's costed me and put me into debt, i honestly wouldn't care what my parents did. They made their bed, they have to lie in it. But it's directly affecting me. If I could get a part time job I would, but I physically can't, and I'm struggling to pay all my bills on my salary alone.