Quote:
Originally Posted by brooke34
He says that he wants to change. That he's tired of being angry all the time and hates himself for hurting everyone closest to him but doesn't know how to control himself. There's been times he's even cried with his head in my lap begging for me to help him. So I try even harder to be there for him but then i get discouraged when he does certain things because a part of me wonders that he says that to me in order to keep me there, but another part of me thinks that if he's being genuine about wanting my help and I walk away then i'm abandoning him in a time of need. I'm torn.
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Yes, he is only saying that to keep you there. That's abuser tactic #1. They all do it. And I mean, they ALL do it. You won't hear an abuse story where the abuser didn't cry and swear he wants to change. And maybe he even means it, but that leads to my next point...
Let's say he's completely sincere. He needs
professional help, because anyone who isn't a trained professional will just be dragged down with him. He needs help from a therapist with solid boundaries. You can't help him just by sticking with him. It's possible you're even enabling him because you're giving him no consequences for his behavior, you're just letting him run roughshod over you. That can't possibly be good for him any more than it is for you. Yoiu're teaching him that he can do whatever he wants because you love him so much.