Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
Dear T,
I kind of wish you'd responded better to my comment about feeling unconditional love from you and MC. I know you probably are nervous about my using the word "love" because you've said before that T's shouldn't tell their clients they love them. But if it's that I'm "feeling" loved, that's not that same as you saying you love me. And why would it be so awful if you loved me and I knew it? We've known each other 4 years--it's not like I just met you. Yes, there's a bit of maternal transference, but nothing too intense (at least not like with MC). Why couldn't you have just gone with what I said? It just felt like an awkward opening to the session...And I feel weird about it now, like you're trying to hold me at a distance. Yes, I know, boundaries, blah blah blah, but can't you just be the person rather than the T right now? And hope you're not horrified at how open MC was about caring about me (regarding both you and him). Yes, he didn't use the word "love" but I felt it coming through in his voice and his eyes. I don't see why that's such a bad thing...
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This was a common battle between me and my former T. I became obsessed with trying to get her to admit she loves me. I had seen her for 6 years and she had never seen anyone nearly as long as she had seen me. I could tell she loved me, but I wanted her to say it. I asked her if she would say it if I was on my death bed, and she said no she would never say it even then. It hurt a lot. But be careful. She crossed so many boundaries with me, that when she abandoned me it was literally traumatic given my abandonment history, and it's been over a year and I'm still in grief. So it's probably a good thing she didn't confess her love to me.