Sorry, but I don't think there's a more fundamentally lonely and heatbreaking phrase in the world than 'self-parent'. It takes someone who is already at a deficit and tells them that they have to do yet more on their own. There's nothing wrong with having needs and seeking fulfilment in others for those needs, as long as nobody is harmed in the process.

What's the big problem with wanting a mother figure? I am sure there are many ways to meet and spend time with older women in productive and friendly fashions. Why not just accept the need for what it is?