Quote:
Originally Posted by unguy
Yes. I have intrusive thoughts of an old friend - who I've broken off contact with - of repeatedly torturing me. She was a narcissist / user. The thoughts are constantly recurring and evolving. I try to challenge them by saying, "that really didn't happen" or "these are just thoughts and nothing more" but they have an effect on me, get my adrenaline going, get me riled up and I've stopped fighting them and just try to let them pass. They are a symptom of my C-PTSD illness. Like an addiction, I have no control over them. In fact, they seem to control me. I've discussed them with several T's but they really have not given me an effective treatment. One said that I needed to take more control of my thoughts. When I asked how to do that, she had no answer.
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Yes, you've hit the nail on the head - it's exactly like that for me. "The thoughts are constantly recurring and evolving". - I have serious trauma from both childhood and adulthood, serious threats and actions etc, but my mind takes all that and creates whole new scenarios - fully blown out, ridiculous scenarios of violence and death which go on endlessly for hours. I too have asked for strategies for this but to date nothing has worked. However I've been doing a short course on trauma (I haven't made all the sessions due to trauma!) and it's been good but I haven't nailed it yet.
You mentioned "Like an addiction, I have no control over them. In fact, they seem to control me." It's so totally like that. I feel I'm in the grip of this waking nightmare. It's like night terrors but can happen 24/7.