So I have some questions and really need help! I don’t know what the problem is, but I do not feel much at all. I need to resolve this because it is affecting my school life, and school is obviously important =)

I also wanted to say that this is my first time ever posting on any forum in my life, so yay milestone haha. That is also why this post is kind of long. Here it goes.

I cannot relate to people in any way at all, and people have told me that I am always lost, or just blank, “passive” was another word they used. I can also tell that they interact with me in a different way as they would with anyone else. At first when I meet someone, things are fine. The next day when I see them, everything is different and it is clear that there is some sort of distance in between. They don’t joke around with me the way they do with others, I almost feel like they are avoiding me.

This leads me to my second point: This does actually bother me somewhat. I don’t want to be a “loner”. I need to work in groups for an assignment sometimes for a class, and this issue makes that challenging in that I cannot meet people who will stick around long enough haha.

I do want to be around people sometimes, but I don’t know what to do with them. That sounds really strange, but I’ll try and explain it the best I can. I don’t have any connection with them and thus feel no desire to make them happy, make them laugh or whatnot. Wow reading that out loud makes me seem boring lol.

Why am I posting here? I was hospitalized once a couple years ago and the doctor who dealt with my case said I was psychopathic. Obviously the doctor themselves did not tell me this, but a few months later I asked my councilor to see my file and that person told me so after reading it. I don’t want to get into why, because I just read a post about triggers on the forum, and I don’t know whether or not it would be triggering. I’d rather not get banned on my first day for my first post lol.

So, I want to know your experiences and whether or not you have gone through something like this. Is it possible for me to live like this for the rest of my life? Is it possible to change?

Thanks

Ps. If you want to know more, just ask!