I have some debilitating issues with anxiety. I'm not diagnosed with anything because my anxiety often prevents me from so much as leaving my parents house. (I'm 18)

I need a diagnoses so I can get the proper medication and therapy so this is important. I'm already in panic mode. It's 3:10 am and I need to wake up at 11am to get ready.

I have gone to the place before, (it's a large building that deals with people on crap insurance) there are always a ton of people there. The time I went (Last week) it was terrible. I was paranoid and anxious waiting in the waiting room, even with my grandmother with me. I was so anxious I couldn't speak in the therapist's office. I only occasionally muttered gargled responses to the therapist's questions. My grandmother did most of the talking.

Does anyone have any advice for getting me in that office? I have considered smoking before I leave with my grandmother. I'm not a smoker but It's supposed to calm you down so I figure it might work. I have failed for many years to keep these appointments and I'm afraid this time will be no different.