As a child, I would bite my arm to punish myself for crying after being beaten.

As a teen, I would beat my head hard for a few times, bang my head against the cupboard, and pull my hair hard whenever I felt I hated myself.

Then, as an adult, I learned it was a form of self harm, but the most common narrative seemed to be cutting.

I still bit myself, beat my head and pulled my hair, but one day, when I was 24, I felt a lot of self hatred, so I took a knife and methodically made a few scratches.

It was silent, unlike beating my head or banging my head against something hard, so it became my method of choice.