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Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend
I'm in a similar situation. I avoid closeness with people myself and I push people away because of my defensive mechanisms, trust issues, and general desire to live in my head, have fun with my nerdy hobbies by myself, and build my home online resell business. I have a small amount of friends and plenty of people to talk to on the internet to stave off loneliness although part of me wishes I had some kind of love in my life.
While I'm unsure what to suggest because I haven't fully solved my own issues yet, I would say find a more introvert friendly way of meeting people such as finding people with similar interests and hobbies on a site such as meetup.com or finding a local event of some kind with like-minded people.
Other than that bit of advice, the only other thing that I can say is to find a decent therapist if you haven't already and seek to get help and improve yourself.
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I, um, kind of don't have any interests, hobbies, or passionate topics. Which bothers me immensely. Emptiness, boredom, and all. Nonetheless, it's kind of hard to find "like-minded people", when there isn't much in your mind except almost obsessive introspection. But that's another topic all together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
Have you discussed your situation with a therapist?
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I've tried to. I basically got blown off with "Just talk to people more. These things fade with exposure." Or something to that effect. Though I'm looking for a new therapist, hopefully my mother will approve of this one and I won't get pulled out of counseling (I'm on my parents' insurance, so my mom basically has the final say in my treatment. If she doesn't like the person or thinks I'm not making the right kind of progress fast enough, she makes me cancel all further appointments and find a new person. I hear about people who have therapists for years - I've never had one for more than a couple months).
I guess my concern is that...this has been lifelong. It's ingrained in a way I fear - at the risk of sounding dramatic - I'm almost certain that most typical tips for being more social just wouldn't help. That if I tried to join a group or take up a semi-social hobby I'd just follow my usual pattern of not interacting any more than is necessary. I've never had close friends...and I'm honestly torn over whether or not I want them.
It also worries me that there's little actual fear here, other than minor anxieties about things like personal exposure and fear of judgement. Mostly I just...don't get much pleasure out of direct interaction (online is different, though even that can be draining after more than an hour). It's like social anxiety without the anxiety.
In addition...this "condition", whatever it is, bothers me. A lot. The fact that I'm so torn over whether or not I even want a social life leaves me feeling like a freak.