Quote:
|
Re: Do ends justify means for you? Well i am going to try accountability. I had a thought this morning that my apartment looks like no one cares about me. Cuz no one comes to visit, so no one sees the mess. But thats not exactly true. I know people care. I just wont let them in. So in t today, i told him i wanted him to hold me accountable for whatever i said i was going to do today. It doesnt even have to be the thing - its just that he will ask me. He said, "and you will be okay with that." I was like, i dont know how i will feel, but i guess we will see. I came home feeling hot dizzy and tired so i am lying down and not swimming yet, but i guess we'll see!
|
So far, accountability is stopping me from buying chocolate. We talked about it yesterday, and i seem to link accountability and caring. I was making the connection later to the book The Little Prince, "you are responsible for your rose." I didnt understand that AT ALL when i read it in high school. I had no understanding of any link between responsibility and love. My parents advice was always always so destructive to me in just so many ways. Im finally getting free of that. Too little too late but never too late as long as youre still breathing.