Dear T

Tomorrow I see you again after 4 weeks of not seeing you. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Four weeks is long and it's feels long. You said time will fly by, but for me it feels like I haven't seen you for much longer than 4 weeks. And I don't really want to see you. I don't want to talk. I want to stay in bed. I know I won't be able to get better without therapy, but so far therapy isn't really helping me. And I feel like I'm doing worse than 4 weeks ago. How do I tell you My motivation is gone, if there was any to begin with. A few weeks ago I thought that maybe, just maybe, things could change. But now I just think it's hopeless. I'm hopeless. It's all pointless.

I haven't finished all my homework for therapy. And I don't feel like doing it. I need to write down positive things that happened during the day. I know I do a few things that could be seen as something positive, but I don't feel any positive feeling with it. I did a bit of excersize today, but I didn't feel anything with it.
And positive traits about myself. I don't see anything positive about me. I'm just nothing. If I'm anything then it's worthless, hopeless, a failure.