Same situation here, Sarah. I've been longing for a loving relationship with an older woman for my entire life to fill the void that my own mother left me with. I believe it's just an innate response for some people to have when they are emotionally neglected by their own mother. There is no shame in wanting or needing this.

I am in my mid-40's and I have finally found this relationship, unexpectedly. It's been the single most heart-healing experience for me and I wish for everyone who needs it to find it.