I have a lot of really messed up dreams, too. They've been really helpful to share with my T. We don't try to strictly interpret them, but more about how they make me feel. I never dream about my dad, but I had at least one dream involving my angry mother. It was awful. Dreams about being alone in dangerous places.

When I'm at my worst, I pace circles. It's what I did as a child to feel safe, and sometimes I revert back to that. Unguy - that was what I meant by emotional flashbacks the other day. I often don't realize I'm doing it for awhile. I guess it's more complicated than that, but at least it's an example.

It will take some time in therapy to start to understand. I'm years into it and I feel like I'm at the tip of the iceberg.